Grow Where You’re Planted
What do I do now? Alone. Unsure. Empty
One of hardest aspects of your spouse suddenly dying is the unsettledness of what was once stabile. Or what you thought had stability…
A thousand questions run through your mind - few having answers. Without purpose the mind wanders, drifting about with no heading to guide towards; and that was my biggest fear, for I’ve seen others in similar situations aimlessly existing, shadows of their former selves.
That will not happen here…not today. And with hope and determination, not ever.
I was guided to kind, compassionate people who opened their homes and hearts to a wayfaring stranger who knew no one in a strange city and a seemingly foreign land. Wrapped in arms of wisdom, warmth and wholeness, healing had fertile ground in which to germinate.
Talking helped. Ears that listened embraced. Hearts that cared reached out and soothed. A touch on the shoulder melted emotions hardened from the excruciating, helpless weeks of ICU hospitalization.
Yet there remained an immovable object titled, ‘Next?’ It lifted its ugly head as the loving attention from family and friends subsided. That’s natural, for everyone must soon go back to their lives. But what life did I have now? What do I go back too?
Familiar routines now gone. Emotional connections shattered into a million pieces. Hope holds….but the line is frayed and weak.
As Evonne and I started our retirement adventure last year, we knew that the joy of just sitting around staring into each other’s eyes would wane and traveling might also become boring, so we planned to find opportunities to serve others, though we didn’t know exactly how or where. With this disaster unfolding now around me, I knew I had to discover a motivation to live and it came through unusual circumstances.
Provision was made to move onto the campus of Thunderbird Adventist Academy, a day and boarding school for grades 1-12, where I was asked to be an assistant coach on the boys volleyball team for the season. The comradarie and fellowship with these young men, along with a consistent practice and game schedule, filled my afternoons while lifting the cloud which enveloped me as I did my part as mentor and coach. The bonus was rejoicing with them as they enjoyed a winning season. Pouring myself into their lives, reliving my own past glory days as a player, boosted my own confidence to follow the same principles I was enlightening them with:
-Never yield to the odds or circumstances
-Reach for the possible
-Leave your self-imposed restrictions behind
-Live Positive and Exponentially
Additionally, this school had needs, so I filled in with evening dorm worship, replaced decaying siding on staff housing, installed signage and hung banners, poured concrete and engaged with faculty and students in whatever situation was presented before me..
Service became stability.
It’s easy for the mind to think that we need a grand entrance to a hopeless cause for our actions to be meaningful - our lives fulfilled and worthy.
Instead, the value - if there is any to be found - is in simply growing where you’re planted. Simple idea. Profound results.