Lift Off!

10…9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1………..

When my wife, Evonne, died on Valentines Day this year, I felt completely destroyed on the inside - my heart broken into a million little pieces. The emptiness of silence now gnawed at my spine. Lost in this solitude, I reviewed 37 years of memories together, contemplating the age old question of, ‘What do I do now?’

My mind trembled at the thought of continuing on without my bride - facing the world alone. No best friend. No soundboard. No rock.

First thoughts tend toward, ‘Why Me?’ Suddenly alone, that is only natural.

No whirring machines or IV drip alarms piercing the darkened room, I sat in in silence beside her. With my arm slid gently inside hers, I stared at her face and form, speaking words of love and hope, lost in profound sadness at the suddenness of her departure from our hand-in-hand walk on this life journey.

Unplanned. Unexpected. The randomness of her immune system going rogue, attacking an enemy that wasn’t there. Destroying what was not an actual threat.

Does it make sense yet? No. Will it ever? Not in this lifetime.

I listened intently for quiet whispers of comfort and guidance as I prayed. Would there be answers…..? Would I accept them?

The days that followed blossomed with hope, direction and joy.

Quickly, I began to shift towards, "‘Why not me?’

Billions of men before have stood alone at the same junction, thinking the same things. Would I be different? Should I be different?

I turned toward heaven’s Gift as I made 4 specific requests:

Power

Purpose

Passion

Peace

So, what will the answers look like? I don’t know. What I can say is that my next steps are assured to be exciting! The unknown is like that.

When a rocket is poised on the launch pad, with the countdown into single digits, the future may appear to be terrifying as you sit atop a live missile with explosive potential. Wise choices and decisions can lead to amazing, astonishing orbits while poor choices or performance could end in disaster.

Remaining on the launch pad, not wanting to complete the journey - though sealed and suited up - isn’t an option either. Risk exists for adventure into uncharted territory the same as if remaining stagnant and on the launch pad, fearful of moving onward and upward.

Alan Shephard, strapped into the seat of a repurposed ballistic missle, while waiting impatiently for ground control to fix a glitch. It was May 5, 1961 and he had been chosen to make the first sub-orbital test flight as part of NASA’s daring mission to the moon.

Trained, prepared and anxious, Shephard sat helpless while first a bank of clouds swept over Florida’s eastern seaboard and then a power inverter had to be replaced on the rocket. Launch was rescheduled for 9 am. Having sat there for three extra hours on his back, unable to move, Alan Shepherd’s patience was at its end and he keyed the comms, blurting out, ‘I’m cooler than you are. Why don’t you fix your little problem and light this candle!’

His words made an impact and 34 minutes later propellant burned through the rocket motor and he was on his way for his ‘15 minutes of fame’.

Training and preparation have brought me to this new launch pad, as well. Now I sit in a rocket of potential, facing the unfamiliar and the unexplored. New adventure awaits…

Let’s light this candle!